There you go.
That's Franz Ferdinand.
Thanks a lot.
With Walk Away.
That's out on Monday, Joe Cornish.
Is it?
I cannot wait to go and buy it.
I confidently predict that will be a massive hit.
Wow.
I really like that song.
Really?
Yeah, I love it.
Good.
Hello, listeners.
We're Adam and Joe.
We're here with you for the next two hours.
I'm the mind freak.
What?
I'm the mind freak.
Sorry, I'm Joe and he's the mind freak.
We're here with you for the next one hour and 54 minutes.
I'm the mind freak.
And he's the mind freak, which is exciting.
What do you do, mind freak?
I freak people's minds.
Sometimes I set myself on fire in the street, and sometimes I can make people hover by magic.
Really?
Yes, I'm the mind freak.
Are you gonna do anything in the show?
Yes, yes, I'm gonna make you hover.
Really?
Yes.
Wow.
You're hovering now.
That's exciting.
I'm the mind freak.
I'm not, I'm hovering by a very tiny amount.
So what kind of competitions have we got?
Well, this week, listeners, we're doing movie lingo bingo.
What?
Is that what it's called?
Yeah.
Movie lingo bingo.
What's that?
Can you explain that again?
That's when we play a clip from a film in foreign.
And they have to guess what foreign it is.
And this week on Movie Lingo Bingo, we're going to give away a prize not only to the correct answer, but the most entertaining bad answer.
The most entertaining wrong answer.
In fact, I think that's something we should establish for most of our quizzes.
But you don't want to encourage people to be deliberately rubbish.
Well, no, but we'll sniff them out, you see.
We'll sniff them out.
We'll sniff them out, because we're very good judges of that kind of thing.
I don't know, Lila has to do some of the sniffing.
I'm not sure about Lila's sniffing capabilities.
They have to come through me first.
Yeah.
Exactly, they have to get through Lila, but yeah.
They have to get through our filthy, potty-mouthed producer, Lila.
She's like G.I.
Jane.
She's got a dirty mouth!
We're also going to do Ditty's in the Dock towards the end of the show and we've got loads of stuff to talk about.
Quite a lot of stuff I want the listeners help with, Adam.
What sort of things can you tease?
Yeah, I want to know about this new Ben Elton sitcom, Blessed.
Oh yeah, have you been watching that?
No, I haven't seen it but everybody's been talking to me about it.
Yeah, I can talk to you about it.
Saying it's unbelievable.
And the other thing that everyone's going on about, saying it's unbelievable on telly, is Noel Edmonds' new show about boxes.
Noel's back?
Noel's box-based quiz show.
Wow.
I can't even remember what it's called, but I did watch one episode.
It's called Win, Lose or Box.
It's called Deal or No Deal.
Shove It In My Box.
stop touching my box you can't say either of those two last things that you said it's called wheels or no deals no deal or no deal deal it can't be called that surely you'd have a box button you can't repeat the word deal in a title of a show that's like calling millionaires who wants to be a millionaires
It's not quite the same.
It's not the same.
Anyway, I want to know about that if anyone's seen that.
Did you watch the Madonna doc?
No, I missed the Madonna doc.
You lunatic.
I know.
That was the must-see TV of the week.
I know.
Did you see that, Lila?
I was out getting a bit drunk.
What?
Sorry.
Did you see it?
You bet I saw it.
Yeah, I loved it.
Well, anyway, we'll talk about all this a bit later.
Shall we play some more music right now?
Yeah.
Hey, this is your favourite band, Joe.
Is it?
Yeah, they're from Manchester and they're called Oasis.
What happened there?
Did you jog the thing?
No.
It's all on CD.
It's not supposed to jog.
It's good.
It'll be shorter.
OK.
Yeah, brilliant.
You heard Let There Be Love, a bit of it anyway, by Oasis.
And after that, I'm not going to tell you what you heard, OK?
And by the way, this has got nothing to do with the fact that I played the wrong track.
Nothing at all.
I want listeners to text in what that song was and the person who gets the correct answer will win some kind of amazing prize.
Again, I'd like to remind you that it's nothing to do with the fact that I played the wrong track on the CD when I was supposed to play
hot, hot heat, and I've got no idea what that track was.
Nothing, nothing to do with that.
So text in if you know what that last song was.
This is Adam and Jo on XFM.
How you doing there, Jo?
You're looking a bit worried.
Fine, thanks.
What are you worried about?
I don't know.
Well, do you know what the track is?
How are we gonna know what it is?
How are we gonna know if people are right or wrong?
Well, it'll sound right when they text in.
Lila or no?
Do you know what it is, Lila?
Yeah.
Do you know?
Really?
Yeah.
She doesn't.
She doesn't.
Do you really?
Yes.
Seriously?
Yes.
Okay.
I don't believe her.
I think she's lying.
Um, so anyway, uh, I wanted to, um, tell you about the- the Madonna doc.
I can't believe you missed it, Joe Cornish.
Now what was the Madonna doc called?
I'm going to tell you a secret.
Okay.
And I believe it was directed by the guy, uh, Jo- is he called Jonas Akerlund, who directed Spun?
Um, anyway, he's clearly a very, very talented man, and I believe Madonna had absolute control over this.
I thought she made it.
Didn't she direct it and now she wants to make a film?
Now she said she's gonna direct a film.
I think she more or less directed it, you know, cos she had such control over the thing and she had absolute final cut.
It was two and a half hours long.
Not long enough?
Not nearly long enough, because you didn't get to see more of her, like, just about to go on stage and going... I mean, you saw, obviously, a great deal of her just about to go on stage, then going on stage, then coming off stage and then doing it all again.
But I could have seen it about 28 more times.
And as it was, it was- there was only about a hundred of them.
Did you see any- any- any footage of Guy Ritchie or her home life?
Yeah, there was a great deal of footage of Guy Ritchie mooching about backstage and in one extraordinary scene singing traditional Irish songs in a- in a Irish pub.
No, with Madonna?
She was sat in the corner looking quite sulky and saying she wanted to leave while she was drinking some Guinness.
but it was very amazing and there was a concert fairly near the beginning.
I missed the first half, which was a drag, I bet there was some dynamite stuff in there, but fairly early on there was a concert and Michael Moore is there at the concert and he's really moved by the whole thing because Madonna says like, you know, Michael you're such a brave man for what you've done and speaking out for what's right, everyone should take a page out of your book and he was almost moved to tears by the affirmation he received from Madonna.
and that the concert itself was extraordinary.
People dressed up as soldiers, kind of bombs going off on stage, footage of maimed children on the video screens behind her.
It was pretty important and it really made me think that perhaps war's not quite...
I don't know, man, I've been playing Call of Duty 2 on the Xbox 360 and I think war's a great idea.
Really?
Yeah.
So you should have seen the Madonna thing, cos you might have changed your mind.
Doubt it.
Cos I think a lot of the more, er, militaristic Madonna fans are probably gonna be thinking, I don't know, maybe war's not quite what it's cracked up to be.
Well, if they could only get their hands on an Xbox 360, they'd think different.
But of course there's a shortage, so no wonder there's such anti-war sentiment out there.
Wow.
Yeah.
Well, there you go.
The other amazing thing about the doc was Madonna's poetry.
Did you see- oh, you didn't see it, you were out getting drunk, weren't you, Lila, with your new laddette friends?
What?
What?
Well, listen, she writes a lot of amazing poetry and I thought maybe I'd play you a little bit.
Would that be good?
Some of Madonna's poetry?
Some Madonna poetry.
She writes a poem for her assistant at one stage and, um, I really want to do the same thing for you, Lila, but I want to play Madonna's poem first.
OK, let's hear it.
uh here we go press the right button here goes i'm known to write a witty verse or two regarding things important and or true but now i'm creeping around like a tarantula just looking for some words that rhyme with angela
you see me dancing around up there each night and belting out my songs with all my might i'm showered with affection and applause but here is where i'd like you to take pause for somewhere in the back in a small nook
is Angie staring at her power book.
She's sorting out what I will eat and wear.
The luggage, planes and cars are in her care.
She's gathering my ice packs and my shake and picking up debris left in my wake.
The secret must be told and I'm insistent.
The real star of my show is my assistant.
Ricky laughs That was a great, insincere, um, noise, a tiny way into that.
Ricky laughs Yeah, Madonna.
Jeepers, creepers.
She's talented.
She does quite a few poems in the doc.
Anyway, I thought- I thought that maybe I should take a leaf out of her book.
I've written a little something for Lila, our producer.
Really?
Yeah.
Because I don't feel that we thank her nearly enough.
You know, she does an amazing job.
Read it, read it, read it.
Okay.
I hope I don't get too emotional.
Go for it.
I think we can deal with it.
Okay, I'm gonna read it like Madonna.
Each week we come to Leicester Square, broadcast our thoughts upon the air, for people out there in their thousands, listening in their cars or houses.
Our show's the most successful and important in the world, it's true, but here's the thing, we could not do it so well without you.
Oh.
You take the calls from people phoning for competitions or just moaning and you do some other stuff, I think, but I cannot say this enough.
You're more than just a CD filer.
You organize the prizes.
We thank you, Lila.
Thank you.
That's okay.
Play some music.
There you go.
That's Hot Hot Heat with Middle of Nowhere.
And has anyone got the other song correct yet?
No one's got it right.
Lila told us what the song I accidentally played was.
I'd never even heard of the guy.
We've had a couple of guesses.
It's not Hootie and the Blowfish, says Michael in Malden.
Or he says it's Hootie and the Blowfish, but it's not.
And it's not Elliott Smith, Heather and Croydon.
Yeah, so keep guessing.
You know, we've got prizes to give away.
Speaking of prizes, it's gonna be competition time very shortly.
Coming up, movie lingo bingo.
And the prizes are...
A Desperate Housewives box set.
That's exciting.
The complete first series.
Look at those sexy housewives, desperate for sexy fun in their boring suburban houses.
Does anyone care about this anymore?
Yes.
Obviously it's brilliant.
But what hasn't it been taken over by something else?
Weeds or something.
Has Weeds?
Has it been cancelled?
No.
Desperate Housewives?
No, the second series is on air at the moment.
Only the second series?
Yeah.
It's a relatively new phenomenon.
Is it?
I thought everyone was off that and onto Lost.
No, don't forget that, you know, Desperate Housewives replaced the... They all had arguments, though.
Didn't they all fall out and demand lots of money and, you know, what happened to Friends in season ten?
That was for Sex and the City Girls.
Oh, I get them all confused.
I'm confused as well.
Anyway, we'll be back with competition time very shortly.
First, we've got to play some ads, so stick with it.
This is Adam and Jo on XFN.
Love music.
Love XFM.
Oh.
Hello.
Oh.
Hi.
It's finished.
Hi.
That was very sudden.
It was very fine.
Oh, that was The Killers, wasn't it, Adam?
That was The Killers with a track called Somebody Told Me.
Yeah.
Reissue of the Las Vegas Quartet's second single, which originally reached number 28 in March 2004, taken from the band's gold-selling debut album, Hot Fuss.
Why are they reissuing it, then?
Why not?
Can you just reissue this over and over and over again?
Yeah.
Yeah.
OK.
Now, it's... It's competition time.
You could win a DVD or tickets to a show You just never know So sharpen up your brain and get ready to play Hey, talking of competitions, somebody's correctly identified the accidentally played track from earlier.
It was by Ian Archer and it was called Boy Boy Boy.
That's correct, isn't it, Lila?
So congratulations to Rania Barakat.
Maybe she could win something.
She could give us a call.
Maybe later.
We'll talk about it later.
We'll come back to you later, uh, Rania.
Yeah.
I think she deserves a good prize for that.
Yeah.
That was a tricky one.
Maybe Desperate Housewives.
So listen, but the number is 08712221049.
08712221049 if you want to enter, uh, movie lingo bingo.
We're gonna play you, uh, an excerpt of dialogue from a very, very famous film, but it's in foreign.
So, if you speak this foreign language, and many people do, it's popularly taught at schools around the country, then you could be in with a chance, and it's not a very complicated bit of dialogue, but remember, we're going to give away a prize to a wrong answer as well as a right answer, and whatever answer you do, we want you to translate.
Speak along to this clip and translate it, it's not very long.
So 0-8-7-1-triple-two-one-o-four-nine, stand by your phones, here's the clip.
Do you want to live with me?
Do you want me to live with me?
I am the one who is here.
Oh, do you know that one, Adam Buxton?
Yes, it's German.
Cos I told you what it was, didn't I, the name of the film?
Yes, I can imagine that scene.
It's German, Charman.
It's Charman.
Charman.
And I think the pauses are crucial there, aren't they?
German should really be spelt with a CH, not a G. Charman.
Charman.
It would make it more, er, what's the word?
Opelimatic.
What's the word when something sounds like... Onomatopoeic.
Onomatopoeic, yeah.
So, get calling now.
0-8-7-1-2-2-2-1-0-4-9 if you knew what that movie was, who was saying it, and what the speech was, cos you're gonna have to translate along with it.
Yeah, I'd like a German person to call in.
I don't think we have any German listeners.
0-8-7-1-2-2-1-0-4-9, if you're German, you will be treated with priority and respect.
Yeah, and remember, there's prizes for wrong answers as well as right answers.
Here's a little free play in the meantime.
This is Arlo Guthrie.
That's Arlo Guthrie.
He's still going, he's still going, listen.
With Coming Into Los Angeles, Los Angeles.
That was nice.
It's a good track, that one.
That's, of course, Arlo Guthrie's... No, it is Arlo Guthrie's, Woody Guthrie's son.
Of course.
So we're in the middle of our competition, movie lingo bingo.
We've played you a clip of a film, What Is In Foreign, and you have to tell us what it is.
Has that explained well?
Very well explained.
Thanks a lot.
So we've had many callers on the line, and we're going to go to Paul first.
Hello, Paul.
How you doing?
Erm, not so good.
What's the problem?
I'm stuck in traffic.
Really?
Whereabouts are you stuck in traffic?
Erm, near Cute Bridge.
Oh, oh, that's terrible, isn't it, and you can see it tailing off for miles when you're stuck in traffic there.
And you know you're not going to get out of it for about four miles, right?
Pretty much.
Oh, bad luck, mates.
At least you haven't had your face ripped off by your Labrador.
Oh, man.
Like, that's because of the... Is that an inappropriate thing to say?
The woman on the front of the telegraph.
The telegraph today, you can see.
Paul, hello?
Hi.
It's true, though, isn't it?
At least if that happened to me, I'd know I could have a face transplant now.
Yeah, you know what?
I misread that this morning, and I thought what had happened is she had accidentally had her face taken off somehow, and then she'd had it sewn back on, and then the dog had pulled it off again.
I thought in some horrible... Anyway, that's disgusting, isn't it?
So Paul, what movie do you think that clip's from?
Um, I'm guessing Reservoir Dogs.
Right.
OK.
Well, let's see whether you're right.
What we'd like to do is play the clip and you have to translate what you think the person is saying while they're saying it.
You're not gonna say any rude words, are you?
No.
Cos it's a very swery film.
Which scene in Reservoir Dogs do you think it was?
I think it's the torture scene.
With Mr. Blonde.
Michael Madsen.
Okay, here we go, Paul.
Stand by.
Best acting, please.
Are you ready to translate, Paul?
I am.
Okay, here we go.
Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
What was that last bit then, Paul?
You got torture, hmm, that's a good idea.
And then what?
And then my mind went blank.
Is that, is that, is that a line of dialogue from Where's the Wild Dogs?
Torture, hmm, that's a good idea.
Yeah, I think that's what he says, yeah.
Does he?
When he's, when he's about to cut the guy's ear off.
Because he's having a sort of dialogue with himself.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was good, Paul.
He says, don't torture me, and he says, torture, now, hmm, that's a good idea.
Ah, the irony, he said, the guy suggested it himself.
He's cold-blooded.
You're wrong, I'm afraid.
Paul, that's not what it's from.
Cos doesn't that- hasn't he started playing that song by that point in Reservoir Dogs?
Yeah, Stuck In The Middle With You is playing.
And that would be in the background, and all that's in the background of that clip is a ticking clock.
An ominous ticking clock.
Like the time bomb of his mind.
But you know what, Paul, we're gonna give you a Desperate Housewives box set.
Do you like Desperate Housewives?
Yeah, yeah, it was great.
Oh, you can do- basically it's like catnip to a woman, this box set.
You- a woman will do anything for this.
You could wear it on a- like a chain round your neck and you'd have girlfriends all night doing anything you wanted.
Wow.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's exciting.
So it's a good Christmas present for a lady anyway, even if you don't watch it yourself.
Thanks for your call, Paul, and I hope you get out of your, uh, traffic jam soon.
Yeah, best of luck.
OK, now, uh, let's see if, uh, we can find someone who's got it right.
What about Sinead and Tanya?
Sinead and Tanya, are you there?
Hello?
Yeah, we're here.
Now, Sinead and Tanya, you're sort of, this sounds like Eurovision now, but you're a kind of double act, aren't you, because one of you is a fluent German speaker, is that correct?
Tanya's from Germany.
OK.
And I'm from Ireland.
Oh, well done.
What a team.
Um, so, uh, are you pretty confident you know, no, you, sorry, you say you don't know what the film is, right?
I know what the movie is, and Tanya knows what he's saying.
Oh, really?
OK.
Well, listen, does Tanya speak any English, Sinead?
Tanya speaks excellent English.
Do you want to talk to her?
Yes, please.
Hello.
Hello Tanya, how are you?
I'm fine, thank you.
Guten Abend.
Sorry?
Guten Abend.
Guten Abend.
Is that German for good afternoon?
Yeah, it means good afternoon.
Wicked.
This is going very well.
So Tanya, we'll play the clip.
Uh huh.
Do you understand me?
Yeah, I understand you very well.
Okay.
And then if we'd like you to translate it simultaneously.
Okay.
What?
Here we go Tanya, are you ready?
Yeah.
Okay, get translated.
You're talking to me?
You're talking to me?
That's good.
Do you mean, do you think, yeah.
Hang on, do you mean me or do you think Ja?
No, do you mean me?
Maybe.
Wow.
You should do the dubbing for Robert De Niro.
In German territories.
You're very good.
And so what do you think the film was?
Erm, Taxi Driver.
Of course it was.
What's that called in Germany?
Does it have a different title?
No, it's the same.
Taxi Hausen Dreyverstein.
This may be.
It's just approximate German.
Is that anywhere near?
Hello?
I just know taxi driver.
I don't know it, but... Don't know the German title.
Well, that's absolutely right.
Congratulations, Tanya.
Thank you very much.
And Sinead, you're going to have to fight over the Desperate Housewives box set.
And if you could fight over it naked, that would be ideal.
And if you could send us a video.
Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh
This is XFM.
Brilliant, the Foo Fighters there on XFM, named of course after UFOs in the war.
That's just a bit of DJ, just so I can do normal DJing.
That's good, man.
Yeah, you know?
You've got your hoodie up and you've got your headphones over your hoodie.
Yeah, I look cooly.
You look cool and frightening.
Listen, this is Adam and Joel on XFM London's 104.9.
What are we doing now?
We're going to play something called the JCB song.
OK, we're going to play this ruddy song.
Ladies and gentlemen.
So, listeners, this is dividing the country, this JCB song.
I first got emailed it as a link, you know, one of those boring things that people email you, supposedly funny things.
And it was a sort of quick ti- er, a flash animation of a JCB.
And I sh- I thought it was quite sweet, cos I thought, oh, it's just a little sweet guy.
Two weeks later, it's gonna be Christmas number one.
That's how quickly these things happen.
Thanks to the internet.
So- A global network of computers.
I know very little about- Exchanging information.
Exchanging information in space.
This is a single that's taken from the Leamington Spa duo's debut album, Half These Songs Are About You.
And as you said, tipped as a contender for the Christmas number one.
And this is like, it's basically, everyone's heard it.
We're probably the, you're probably the last person in the country.
You haven't heard it, have you Adam?
I haven't heard anything about it.
So you're the last person in the world to hear this.
But it's basically like a song for children.
Oh, really?
That's good.
Yeah, it's like a sort of Postman Pat song.
But, er, it- it does encourage holding up traffic with a JCB, doesn't it?
It's all about causing a massive jam.
So Paul, in queue, who was just on the phone, he won't be happy about this.
He might be stuck behind a real JCB.
Yeah.
So I think it's actually quite irresponsible.
It's gonna be rubbing salt in the wounds.
Shall we play it?
Yeah, sure.
And, you know, let us know what you think of it.
You can text us 83XFM, er, whether we should mount a campaign to try and bring this song down or whether we should encourage it.
OK, let's have a listen to Nizzloppy with the JCB Song.
APPLAUSE MUSIC PLAYS
Cool.
Blimey.
What?
What are you laughing at?
Lila's... She's giggling at your hoodie look.
Your face just is just like, oh, you look like someone slapped you.
Yeah, I don't know about that song.
The text has been divided pretty much down the middle.
You either love it or you hate it, and it's sort of 50-50 on my text screen.
Well, I wanted it to get to the up-tempo part.
I mean, when the up-tempo part happened, I was enjoying it more.
Yeah.
because he's missing a trick, surely, if it's aimed at children.
I don't know if it is aimed at children.
it as a single.
As soon as it does get released as a single and it's a hit, everyone's like, oh, this movie.
Oh, I don't know.
But you know what, when I used to go to school, uh, on the 159 or the 3 through Brixton towards Dulwich- Ricky with your dad?
Steve Oh.
Ricky No, I used to sit on the top deck and imagine, uh, there was no bottom deck and the top deck was strapped to the back of a town town from Star Wars.
Steve Right.
Ricky Yeah.
Steve What an amazing imagination.
Ricky I know.
Steve For a young man to have.
Ricky Extraordinary stuff, eh?
Steve You should write a song about that.
I'm sitting on the bus now.
It's the warble in his voice.
If he didn't have that warble, I think it would be more lovable.
Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh
Don't you remember White Town?
No.
Your woman was his one hit one day and he got like a five album deal off the back of that.
Anyway.
Hey listen this is Adam and Joe on XFM by the way.
We're coming up to the end of the first hour of our show, we're with you for another hour and at the end of that we're building up of course to Ditties in the Dock.
When you can win this week a CD of what are these Lila?
It's Northern Soul compilations.
Northern Soul compilations, they look pretty good.
One's called Tear Jerkers, one's called Soul Sisters, Chess Originals, that sort of thing.
A sort of association with Mojo magazine there, which has got to be good.
And also we've got tickets to give away to Ocean Colosseum and Feeder, and we'll think of a way to give them away in a second.
We'll be back very shortly.
XFM.
Love music.
Love XFM.
XFM.
Yeah, Coldplay, going to the moon and waking up a big robot.
Is what they do in the video.
That's Talk by the Mighty Coldplay.
I saw them playing that on Jonathan Ross's show last night.
He interviewed him, didn't he, Jonathan Ross?
Yeah.
I didn't see it.
It's always pretty hard work interviewing the Mighty Coldplay.
Really?
Because basically Chris Martin sits there looking sort of alternatively very defensive and then quite aggressive if the interviewer says something he doesn't like.
and then just sort of, I don't know, puts himself down obsessively.
I can relate to that.
I'm sort of obsessive superstar.
Put it down of myself, but it's certainly quite tedious to listen to.
And then you have to, you know, you have to feel sorry for the other three guys in the band who sit there looking really glum.
Yeah.
You know, I think if you're famous, you should be egocentric.
and er, you know, big and stupid.
I don't like, er, stars who are sort of, er, too self-effacing and downwardly mobile.
It's the thing to be, isn't it, now, if you're really famous, is to deny it and try as hard as you can to be normal.
That's what I like about, er, Noel Fielding so much from The Mighty Boosh.
He walks around dressed like a superstar in massive white hats.
and leather boots and stuff.
I saw him the other day.
I saw him do it, even when he's not working.
He said that he'd just done a photoshoot for I.D.
or something.
Someone had spotted him on the street and just said, hey, you look weird.
Well, absolutely.
Do a photoshoot.
That's what famous people should be like.
Anyway.
I quite like that song.
though, and I can't think of any- any examples of anyone that's taken a sample without actually using a sample of the actual song, do you know what I mean?
Steve Laughs Just sung along to it.
Ricky Laughs Yeah, so that- that song samples, um, Computer Love, the melody from Computer Love by Kraftwerk, and they are credited, you know, it's a proper sample.
Steve Laughs Yeah, you're right in saying that- that the people in the R&B world do it a lot.
Ricky Laughs Yeah, but they- but they always use a sample from the actual track.
Steve Laughs No, they sometimes use the melody, they'll sing the vocal melody.
Ricky Laughs Oh, really?
Steve Laughs Or, yeah, sing a- yeah, mess around with it, yeah.
Ricky Laughs There you go, but in the rock world, I don't think- I can't think of anyone who's done that before.
Hey, can I make a plea to the listeners?
Go on.
I know there aren't that many people out there who actually secured an Xbox 360 yesterday.
Did you read about the big, uh, the big panic?
You know, the launch day?
Oh, they didn't have enough.
Didn't have enough, queues round the block, exchanging hands on eBay for twice the price.
I was lucky enough to get one, because I pre-ordered it.
Yeah.
But it's got the loudest fans of any console I've ever owned.
Right, because it's got so much important trickery going in.
It's so powerful.
You switch it on and it's fine.
But then about an hour into your gameplay, it's literally like having two people drying their hair right next to the telly.
I thought they were using special cold technology these days.
They're so loud.
They're so loud that I actually couldn't hear the soundtrack of the game.
Right, that's not very good.
I had to turn it up extra loud to drown out the fans.
Is that just me?
Is it my house?
Have I got a broken console?
Or has anybody else out there experienced the same thing with the 360?
Because it looks sexy, but it sounds like a congested old man.
And then I imagine because you're such a big screen technology junkie, you'd probably hook it up to your projector at some point.
I, I, yeah, well, I'm enjoying it in 1080 dpi on the, on the widescreen LCD high-def set, yeah.
Yeah.
You got a high-def set?
Sure I do, yeah.
Wow.
Does it, with a high-def set, does it mean that when you're watching normal TV it's like a tiny box in the middle?
No.
Oh.
No, it looks good.
Everything looks great.
You can switch between regular and... Does it automatically, Adam.
Wow.
Yeah.
The future.
I recommend them.
Anyway, if you've got an Xbox 360 and, am I alone with the level of fan noise?
Yeah.
Yeah, I am.
Get texting.
Yeah, that's exciting stuff.
Speaking of texting, we've got some more stuff to give away.
And I was wondering, as a kind of text competition, if people could come up with some new Public Enemy album titles for me.
Now, I was just thinking, because Public Enemy's new album, which is supposed to be very good, incidentally, is called New World Odor.
like new world order like whirl as in whirlpool you know yeah yeah whirl odor and then the title they had before that i remember was muse sick in our mess age like music and our message but the muse is thick in our mess age oh dear
So I came up with some new ones, you know, by way of example.
And I was thinking people could perhaps text in some more sort of- It's like they're finding words within words, isn't it?
So they'll take a statement and they'll break it down into words that give it extra meanings.
That's right.
But the extra meanings are usually quite bad and nonsense.
Is there a word to cover that?
that describes when you do that?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Maybe if a genius out there is listening, they could, er, tell us.
Is there a word that describes that process?
Anyway, here's some of my examples.
I thought maybe they could call their next album Globe All War Mean?
Globe All War Mean?
Yeah.
So, Globe All War Mean?
So, so that obviously is global warming.
Yeah.
What else is it?
It, me, it's, OK, I'm glad you asked.
I'm thinking, like,
the globe has got wars on it.
What does that mean?
Oh, globe all war.
Mean?
With a question mark at the end, that's good.
What about this?
Plan.
Ettin.
Cry.
Seize?
What's etin?
Don't know.
You can't just make up words.
Planetin Christ, planetin crises.
Yeah, but you can't- etin's not a real word.
Well, you'll have one nonsense one, aren't you?
You see, you should have done eating.
Plan, eating, cry, these?
Yeah, it could be about starvation, couldn't it?
Yeah, exactly.
Then you've got more meat in this, man.
Oh, you're good at this, man.
Here's another one.
Ho, lean, Theo's own lair.
How do you spell een?
Lean.
So you got a hoe- A hoe?
You got a hoe- A hoe like a garden implement?
A garden hoe, and you lean the hoe against Theo's own lair.
the ozone layer.
Well that's got one level of meaning which is like obviously quite moving and compelling hole in the ozone layer terrifying the world's gonna end but then leaning your hoe on Theo's own lair what's that like his jacket it's a garden thing
Well, it's not- it's just very- two very different subjects.
Yeah, but- but what's in- what's in Theo's own lair?
Oh.
Ooh, imagine.
So if you can do better than that, text 283XFM and we'll, uh, offer you a choice of tickets to exciting events like feeder at the, uh, Carling Apollo.
Feeder.
Or Ocean Colour Scene.
If you can come up with a better double-meaning name for a Public Enemy album.
Okay, uh, we're gonna do a free play.
This is your free play now, George.
Is it?
Do you want to introduce it, yeah?
What is it?
The- the Talking Heads.
Oh, it's the Talking Heads with Blind.
Yeah, that's the Talking Heads with Blind from the album Naked, isn't it, Adam?
Yeah, their final album.
Yes, there we go.
So this is Adam and Jo on XFM London's 104.9.
You join us in the middle of our text competition.
We've been asking you to come up with potential new names for a public enemy album who habitually come up with sort of important world statements, then split the words in funny places to create a second meaning.
Yeah, for example- Yeah, it's quite well explained.
I'm pleased with myself there.
Yeah.
Very good.
Nice job, man.
Very good.
Musick-n-hour-mess-age was my favourite one.
I don't think you can get that album anymore.
I think it's been deleted.
Ahem.
Terrible news.
Okay, here is a good one.
Dry-bite-shootings.
Dry bite shoe tings.
Is this a good one?
Maybe I've become confused.
It of course means... What does it mean, Adam?
Drive by shoe tings.
Yeah.
Dry... Dry bite shoe tings.
I just like saying tings.
So yeah, it's to do with, it's shoe things.
That's from Sushi.
With a dry bite.
From Welling, who's confidently left his or her number as well.
OK, do you want another one?
Yeah, go on, give us some more.
I'm just going to read them out, I haven't sort of sorted them in any way.
So there might be some kind of filthy bogs in there.
There might be some filthy ones, you never know.
Yeah.
Sole Doubt of Egg Bog is...
sold out of egg boxes and so doubt of egg bog is sold out of egg bog is sold out of xboxes what come on that's quite good that's matt sold out sold out of egg bog is pow exclamation mark her to the people
that's power to the people.
Ricky Laughs Steve Yeah.
Ricky Yeah.
Steve Yeah.
What?
Oh, We Open Soft Master- Well, Masterstruck Sean is Masterstruck Sean.
Oh, Weapons of Masterstruck Sean.
Oh, that's a good one from Matt and Chiselhurst.
That's amazing, Matt and Chiselhurst.
We Open Soft Masterstruck Sean.
But what's so- so one meaning is Weapons of Masterstruck Sean.
What's the other one?
We Open Soft Masterstruck.
They've hit a- a soft schoolmaster who can't control the class.
And they've hit him.
Or weed on him.
Or we- what?
We- Oh.
We open.
We- yeah.
Wow.
Matt in Chiselhurst, that's deep, man.
That's good, man.
We should give him a prize right there.
Do you reckon?
Definitely.
No one's gonna get better than Matt.
Do you reckon?
Yeah.
Well, let's get him on the line.
OK, then.
Well, let's play another record and see if we can summon Matt in Chiselhurst.
We summon Matt.
We're gonna call you.
Hey, guess what, Joe?
What?
You know the Ghostface Killer?
Yeah, I like the Ghostface Killer.
He's returned!
How frightening.
The return of the Ghostface Killer!
Yeah, that's Magnet with Fall at Your Feet, and they'll be playing an acoustic set as part of the Winter Wonderland at the Brixton Academy on Sunday, December the 11th.
That's a week tomorrow, isn't it?
Also on the Bill Kaiser Chiefs, Hard Fire, Maximo Park editors, and the Dead 60, and Adam and I will be introducing the editors.
Yeah, we're going to play some editors a bit later on.
I haven't even got the album.
You know, I'm looking forward to that, because last year it was at the Hammersmith Apollo, but this year it's coming saff.
Coming saff, yeah.
So it's walking distance, walking distance from the In-Ads to the Academy.
It'll be very nice and you can all come home to our houses and play on my Xbox 360.
Good one.
Yeah.
Now, we'll give some prizes out for those text us very shortly.
We had a couple more in as well.
Yeah, we have.
We've had some good ones in.
But we'll play some ads first and we'll be back.
Oh.
Extraordinarily shortly.
X. F. N.
This is XFM.
And you'll sing when you're sungen to.
That's the editors.
Or just editors, actually.
With Munich, we're going to be introducing the editors.
Or just editors!
At XFM 21, Winter Wonderland.
This time in the... Resisting... Sorry, Adam.
Resisting jokes about Walter Murch and Max Hastings.
Like, yeah, famous editors.
Yeah, famous editors.
We don't know where else to go, though, with our introduction, apart from that.
Yeah, if anyone's got any ideas.
Anyway, so we've been playing this quite good text competition, what Adam came up with.
Uh, come up with your own Public Enemy album title name.
You know, a phrase that's then broken down into other words that means something else.
And our lovely producer, producer at Lila, has, uh, done a top five of, of the best entries, okay?
So at number five, are these ones we haven't read out before?
Some of them are.
Some of them, but so the answer's no?
They aren't.
Some of them might have been read out before.
OK, so number five, is this truck shone everywhere?
Is this truck shone everywhere?
No, this truck shone everywhere.
This truck shone everywhere.
This truck shone?
Shouldn't it be dis?
Dis truck?
Because that could be street parlance.
This truck shone everywhere.
This truck shone everywhere.
And the cover would be a big shiny truck with very bright headlights driving over the planet Earth.
Ricky and Steve laugh
Why do you put that in there?
Triple word score.
Oh, triple word score.
There we go.
The title of Public Enemy's next Scrabble-based concept album.
Sorry, I should tell you who these are from.
Matt.
Oh, no, hang on.
Wait.
No, number five was from Paul in Karshalton.
This truck's shown everywhere.
Well done, Paul.
Trip hell word score.
Number four is anonymous.
I could read out his or her number, but they probably wouldn't like that.
Number three, Public Enemy's new album, The Pot Smoker, calling the gunmetal black.
Now, come on, Lila, that's just a statement, isn't it?
That doesn't have two meanings.
Yeah, I quite liked it.
Well, Lila, it's not your job to like things.
Well, Lila, come on, you know, you can't make executive decisions.
You asked me to pick the five I liked.
We don't pay you to think.
Get out.
Get out.
Get out.
OK, at number two...
Yeah, two comes after three when you're counting backwards.
Er, Pub, Lie, Kenny, Me.
Lila!
Pub, Lie, Kenny, Me.
Public enemy.
Well that's the title of the band.
Pub, Lie, Kenny, Me.
You see, because I'm in the pub with Kenny.
Ok, and at number one is Soddam.
Who's Sane?
Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh
Right, Sodom Hussein and this truck shone everywhere.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we had a winner already anyway, didn't we?
This whole thing's a complete waste of everybody's time.
Well, no, we've got three winners now.
We can- we can send them out stuff.
Alpha Bet His Packet E Moser.
What's that?
Alpha Betty Spaghetti.
Oh, Alpha Bet His Packet E Moser.
No, Morrissey's name.
Oh.
It's Morrissey.
Alphabet his packet-e.
Morrissey enters the competition.
I think this has to end.
End it.
He's in the dark coming up very shortly.
Chalk lit may kiss youth at.
What's that?
Chalk lit may kiss youth at.
Chalk lit may kiss youth at.
Chalk lit may kiss youth at.
Chalk lit may kiss youth at.
Chalk lit may kiss youth at.
Chalk lit may kiss youth at.
Chalk lit may kiss youth at.
Chalk lit may kiss youth at.
Chalk lit may kiss youth at.
Chalk lit may kiss youth at.
Chalk lit may kiss youth at.
Chalk lit may kiss youth at.
Chalk lit may kiss youth at.
Chalk lit may kiss youth at.
Chalk lit may kiss youth at.
Chalk lit may kiss youth at.
Chalk lit may kiss youth at.
Chalk lit may kiss youth at.
Chalk lit may kiss youth at.
Chalk lit may kiss youth at.
Chalk lit may kiss youth
That's Mink Deville.
Yes.
With Spanish Stroll.
And this is Adam and John, XFM, coming up to our last 20 minutes here.
Well, this is our last 20 minutes here on a Saturday afternoon.
We should launch Dities in the Dark right now.
Can I just say one more Public Enemy title?
Oh yeah, go on then.
New Clear... New Clear Cat Ass Trophy.
New Clear Cat Ass Trophy from Shawnee Finsbury Park.
New Clear Catastrophe!
That's good you see because I can picture a cat with a very clean bun holding up a trophy.
Look at the size of...
I told you about this advert.
Did you?
Yeah, don't tell the listeners we've got the telly on.
They're huge.
It'll be distracting for them.
Listen, it's Dizzy's In The Dock time, and the theme this week is songs sung by film stars, right?
Adam, did you come up with something for this?
Oh, I found this one difficult.
You tell me yours.
OK.
So, the theme, uh, songs sung by rock stars.
Uh, this is courtesy of my friend Rhys Thomas.
Songs sung by film stars.
sorry film stars my friend Reese Thomas who introduced me to this it's from the soundtrack of the long good Friday the famous John McKenzie London Underground gangster film and it's a reggae song sung by Bob Hoskins oh man yeah that's gonna be hard to be yeah what's it cool I've written it on the on the box there have you got the box mr. Henderson
It's not called Mr. Henderson, You're Hurting My... It's called Talking to the Police.
Yeah, and it's Bob Hoskins doing reggae toasting.
And it's not right.
It's all wrong.
But it's quite funny.
Very funny.
So if you want to hear Bob Hoskins singing reggae, call 0871 222 1049.
Alternatively, you could have William Shatner.
Oh, classic.
Bill Shatner doing his version of Bob Dylan's Tambourine Man and he kind of speaks sings his way through it and really acts his socks off with Bob Dylan's words ending with the song kind of ends with him just screaming
It's extraordinary.
That sounds good.
So that's a good play off.
It's Singing Film Stars and it's William Shatner versus Bob Hoskins.
Call 0871 222 1049.
Tell us which one you want to hear.
And it's going to be the best of five.
Everybody who gets on air will win one of these Mojo Northern Soul compilations, which look fantastic.
Call now!
Love music, love XFM.
The Kaiser Chiefs with the Modern Ways.
This is Adam and Jo on XFM and it's time to resolve Dities in the Dot this week.
This week it's a competition between singing film stars.
We've got Leonard... No, not Leonard Nimoy or William Shatner versus Bob Hoskins.
And we've got some callers on the line, not as many as usual, because some of them have rung off or not picked up their phones when we call them back.
Naughty people.
Adam, speak.
Dirty buggers.
Oh, I said dirty buggers.
So we're going to Raj first.
Hello, Raj.
Hi there, how are you doing?
Very well.
Are you enjoying the show, Raj?
Er, yeah, very much so.
Comments, criticism, input, any input?
What are you doing, Joe?
You're inviting hell to speak to our front room.
Yeah, well, you know, every now and then.
Come on, Raj.
Give it to us, suck it to us.
Well, I haven't been paying that much attention because I've mainly been, erm, downloading porn on my flatmate's computer.
Really?
Intermittently tuning out, erm... Without going into detail, any joy.
Did you get a result?
Um, several results.
That looked worse, Raj.
This is not a very edifying conversation for a Saturday afternoon.
So, um, what are you voting for?
Uh, Bob Hoskins, please.
Bobo.
Do you know the track?
No, but I've heard the William Shatner album many times.
Right, right.
It's very, very funny, but I've never heard this Bob Hoskins.
OK, you're gonna go for Bobo doing some reggae?
Good choice.
You're gonna win one of these albums.
Uh, Northern Soul, Soul Sisters, Northern Soul, Chess Originals or Tearjackers, Raj?
Erm... Quickly, quickly.
Soul Sisters, Soul Sisters.
Soul Sisters, well done, Soul Sister.
OK, thanks for calling.
Bye!
Cheers, Rog.
Have an enjoyable, er, porn afternoon.
And, er, Joe, are you there?
Hello, yes I am.
Hello, Joe.
Hello.
You sound as if you're in the next room.
Um, no.
No, you're not.
Where are you?
I'm over in Leytonstone.
Really?
Where are you originally from, though, Joe?
Cos you got a touch of the Justin Lee Collins about you, haven't you?
No, I'm certainly not.
Really?
You're from the West Country.
Is that just me?
That's just you.
He did have a little burr in his accent at the top there, but- Don't you like the little burr?
No, he's from Swansea.
No, Swansea, that's very wrong then.
What are you up to this afternoon, Joe?
I was in Union Bristol before I dropped out, so- Oh, there you go.
Yeah, you soaked up a little bit of the accent.
It rubbed off.
What are you up to, Joe?
I'm just bumming around.
Me and my girlfriend been trying to- Bumming around, Joe?
Yes.
Is that wise?
Uh, no.
No.
Not very clean either.
What are you doing in between bumming?
Erm, me and my girlfriend are looking for our prodigy tickets for tonight and we seem to have lost them.
Oh no!
Whose fault is it?
It's kind of why I bring it up trying to scrunch freebies.
Right, they've probably just spontaneously combusted.
Yeah, I expect that.
Because it's such a hot, exciting gig.
It's probably a big bug in JLC later actually for small freebies.
Yeah, very wise, he's a pushover.
So what are you going to vote for Joe?
Bob Hoskins every time.
Bobo, do you know the song?
I do not.
Are you expecting it to be good?
Sorry?
Are you expecting it to be a good song?
I'm looking forward to it.
I think it's going to be awesome.
Yeah, well, OK.
Get ready for disappointment.
Thanks very much, Joe.
Hope you find your tickets.
Check your bum.
They might be in there.
And Matt?
I don't know why I said that.
I'm really sorry.
I liked that you said it.
Matt, are you there?
I am indeed.
Uh, how you doing, Matt?
I'm not too bad, thanks.
How's yourself?
Yeah, very good, thank you.
Oh, I forgot to ask Joe what album you wanted.
Well, just, you know, it sounds like- Yeah, there we go.
Okay, so Matt's the same.
Um, Matt, what are you up to this afternoon?
I'm stuck in traffic at the moment.
Oh, where abouts are you?
I'm in Horn Church.
Horn Church.
Horn Church.
Is it the night everyone doing their Christmas shopping out this afternoon, I guess?
Yeah, it's just as ridiculous as you can give it.
Oh, man.
And it's a really grim day as well, isn't it?
It is.
The skies have just opened up as well, just to edit from.
Well, Matt, at least you've got JLC coming along to cheer you up, so stick with us here at XFM.
Anyway, what are you going to vote for this afternoon?
Oh, he's got me Bob Hoskins all the way.
Oh, now it's a walkover.
I've been completely crushed.
It's a walkover.
A Bobo-o-bo.
We changed me a bit of Bob Hoskins reggae toasting, to be honest with you.
Do you know it, Matt?
Have you known it?
I love the film, I like the film, but I've never heard the chip.
Well, I must have heard it, but I don't remember him.
It is extraordinary.
You know, he starts off quite under-confident, it's quite quiet in the mix, but as the song goes on, he gains confidence and does start to do a little bit of toasting.
Bobo.
And what's more, he tries to put on a Rastafarian accent.
No, that's not really it.
He does, yeah, a touch of the Rasta.
So, enjoy it, and thanks for calling.
How long do I want?
Well, yeah, do you want Northern Soul chess originals or tearjerkers?
I'll have Northern Soul, please.
Good man, there you go.
Oh, and I tell you what, as you're the deciding vote, we're gonna give you, uh, uh, three albums.
Because we've got three left.
So there you go.
Cheers, Matt!
Hope you get out of your traffic jam.
Wow, that was a complete walkover.
I wasn't entirely surprised as soon as I heard that you had Bobo toasting.
I wasn't holding out much hope for Shatner.
Hey, listen, before we play Bobo, can I just say thank you to Rudy, who texted in to tell me that if I sit my Xbox 360 on its end, it's quieter.
Because it's got technology that detects what side you've put it on.
Oh.
And if you apparently lay it flat, these fans go twice as fast.
So thanks, Rudy.
Thanks for the information.
Fantastic.
Personal business.
Now, thanks very much indeed for listening, everybody.
Have a very good week.
We'll be back with you at the same time next week.
Went to Wonderland.
Very exciting.
Here's Bobo.
Here's Bobo.
Searching for a subject I'm left out You're joking, you're joking, you're joking, you're joking, you're joking, you're joking Been left, been left out It's my ambition Left out to roof recognition
Yes, now I'm hopin' for a woman Hopin' for a human Jokin', smokin' Jokin', smokin', I'm lookin' around
Police men want to talk to you over trees.
Smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', smokin', sm
We could- surely, listeners, are you enjoying this out there?
Anyone enjoying this out there?
That is so bad.
Has the Bobo novelty worn off?
Yeah, Bobo novelty wore off about two minutes ago.
Wow, take it off.
Talking and smoking.
Left out!
What's he saying?
Dunno, it just sounds like he'd endure it after a bad night.
Left out!
Oh, Mr. Henderson!
You're hoarding my tortoise!
Have you seen Mr. Henderson?
No, he's in that, isn't he?
His little Bobo's Bobo is in it.
He gets his Bobo out.
He gets his Ooga Booga out.
Let's go see it right now.
Okay, Justin Lee Collins on his way.
We'll see you next week.
Bye!